Christmas Time with Team CRME
by JillianForDays
Summary: It's holiday time and the four villains of Remnant have to find some peace in celebrating as well, right? Well when you have four people of such... differing personalities some things just can't work out well. [Entry to /r/RWBY's December MonCon] [Rated T for Language] [One-Shot]


**This is my submission for the /r/RWBY's December MonCon. If you don't know what that is, I suggest checking it out.**

**Theme: Holiday**

**Characters (Must include, but not limited to): Roman Torchwick**

**I hope you enjoy :)**

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"Jingle bells, Ruby smells, Bumblebee is real. Weiss set fire to the forest and we all got away, hey!"

"Emerald." Mercury mumbled with disgust tainting his voice. "Please, for the love of Remnant, stop with these idiotic Christmas parodies. They really make me want to pour this hot chocolate all over you."

Loud footsteps echoed in the room as an all too familiar orange-haired man clicked his cane on the ground. "Now, now, children, there's no reason to fight. It is Christmas after all! Can't we enjoy one nice evening without any bickering?"

"Tell that to the baby over there." Emerald grunted before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Baby?! Why you little-"

"Roman, when will you learn to keep these two in line?" A quiet, yet commanding voice whispered from the back of the room, causing the three to turn their heads towards their team leader. Dressed in her usual fiery red dress, Cinder spoke up. "Emerald, please. If anyone here is mature enough to cease the idle bitching, it would be you."

Emerald smiled brightly, a soft blush coating her cheeks, and nodded. Roman let out a scoff and rolled his eyes, walking over to the frost covered window to watch the snow fall. "Cinder and her stupid manipulation." He grumbled to himself. "Emerald and her stupid crush."

The holidays were some of Team CRME's favorite days. Gift exchange, hot chocolate and eggnog, and apparently for Cinder, lots of liquor. Under normal circumstances the four would never be so cheerful or kind in any way, but the long month of December brought the team joy, in some way or another. For Mercury he was able to unwind and be a little less rough around the edges, and Emerald could lay off the thievery for a bit. But who's to say she didn't pick a pocket or two when the shopping came about?

Roman found himself perplexed at his love for the season. The crisp outdoor weather and gentle snowfall reminded him of a simpler childhood in which he didn't have to always play the sly guy card. Finally for Cinder it meant the stress of being a corporal mastermind was lifted even in the slightest. Roman let out a pent up sigh and smiled as his eyes followed the movements of the snowflakes.

"Sir?" Mercury's rough voice caused Roman to jump in surprise and knock into the boy, his hot chocolate spilling all over the pristine white coat.

"Why you little fuck face!" He hissed in pain as the boiling hot drink splashed onto him. Quickly he shed the coat to keep from burning himself even more, but his eyes flickered with a bright and hostile flame as they looked down at the brown stained fashion piece. "What in Remnant's name is so goddamn important that you have to sneak up on me?!"

Mercury was left stunned, eyes wide in fear, and his boss slapped his cane on the ground again.

"Well?! What is it?!"

"C-Cinder's ready to do gifts, s-sir."

"All-fucking-ready?!" The man rolled his eyes. "Fine. Fine then."

The teenager quickly rushed away to the tree where the girls were, attempting to keep distance from him and Roman. Not only did he already get on his bad side, but now everyone would be on his bad side. You do not, ever, mess with his fashion sense. Nor do you invade personal space, that's for sure.

"How nice of you two to join us." Cinder smirked as Emerald moved closer to her to give the guys room to sit. "Hold up your straws with the names, let's see who got who."

Roman held his up on Cinder's command and it was dipped in silver paint. Mercury proceeded to pull his out, the wooden Popsicle stick a bright green color. On cue Emerald held hers up and the neon orange paint glistened in the dim light. With a throaty chuckle, Cinder glanced down at her deep red stick.

"Is that even fair?" Mercury questioned.

Roman rolled his eyes at his leader's response. "It is who I picked, so it is who I bought for."

"Whatever." He snapped, picking up his gift from under the tree. Roman threw the box at Mercury's face without even glancing at him. "Merry Christmas you piece of shit."

"I already said sorry," he mumbled as he opened up the present to reveal a bowler hat, just like Roman's. The red stripe across the brim however was a silvery white color rather than the bright red on Roman's headwear. "Oh wow, Torchwick this is awesome."

"Yeah yeah whatever. Just wear the damn thing and give your gift."

Warily Mercury nodded and placed the hat on his head, smiling to himself. He got up from the couch and grabbed his gift to Emerald, soon presenting her with a bouquet of handmade, origami roses. "What the hell is this?" She narrowed her eyes before taking them. "A dozen black roses?"

"Actually, it's a baker's dozen. Thirteen."

In one swift motion Emerald dropped the poorly made "baker's dozen" and slammed her fist into Mercury's jaw, flinging the idiot into the wall with a crash. "You, you prick!"

He gripped his jaw tightly and groaned, eyes hitting the floor in shame. "W-what was that for?"

"Fucking, fucking thirteen?! That is such an unlucky number!"

The girl clenched her hands into tight fists and let out a sigh, trying to calm herself down. Being a thief she relied on her skill and natural luck, so anything to jeopardize that was without a doubt one way to piss her off.

"I have no feelings for you anyway. Here Roman, this is your gift." Emerald shot her boss a sharp look before tossing him the lighter she had stolen from him ages ago. "Figured I'd return it to you."

Both Roman and Mercury had wide eyes as the lighter was snatched from the air and Roman shoved it in his pocket. "Thanks?"

"Emerald, be a dear and get me my box, please."

With haste she handed Cinder the present and a sly smirk peeled across her lips as she opened the container she got herself. Pulling out a bottle of brandy, she licked her lips. "My favorite."

Within only an hour, Mercury wanted to leave and Roman had rolled his eyes over sixty times. Honestly, he probably rolled them more than that, but the group lost count after ten. Emerald had attempted to put Cinder on top of the Christmas tree, which resulted in it being burnt to the ground.

"You want to do what?" A drunken Cinder mumbled, eyes narrowing as she looked at Emerald.

"I want to put you at the top of the tree."

"And why would you want to do that?"

"Because you're the north star that guides my way, Cinder-Senpai!"

As her only response, Cinder proceeded to pour the rest of her brandy on the Christmas tree, and light it on fire. She claimed it was a good use of her present; that wasn't that big of a lie.

Further into the night Mercury found some hidden alcohol in the back and everyone but Roman got pretty much got hammered.

"That's hot." The silver-haired boy mumbled as Emerald was straddling Cinder and the two were locked in a passionate kiss.

"Uh, no it's not." Roman rolled his eyes and smacked Mercury in the jaw, where Emerald had punched him, with his cane. "Fucking disgusting."

Cinder had her hands tangled in mint green hair as she forcefully dominated her teammate, Emerald practically allowing herself to be controlled by the older girl.

"Really guys? Fucking really?"

They parted and Cinder flashed him a devious smirk, one hand going to hold Emerald's chin. "Hush Roman, you'll kill all the fun."

"But seriously! You could do this, anywhere, and you chose here?! Can you not wait till later?"

"I'll do whatever I want with my little puppy, thank you." Cinder's hands dropped to her teammate's rear and with a wink to Roman, she gave it a squeeze. "Make yourself useful and get us some more beer?"

Oh she had done it now, she had pushed way too many buttons and crossed way too many lines with this request. Roman had enough. Why couldn't they have a simple, happy holiday? Why did they always have to make it weird?

He tapped his cane a few times on the ground in sync to a few head shakes, gnawing on his lip. "Cinder, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Mercury spat out his spiked hot chocolate, the warm drink spraying all over the carpet in surprise. "S-sir?"

"Mercury, I think it's time that you call it a night. I'll see you later." Cinder practically growled before pressing her lips to the side of Emerald's neck. "You too my sweet, get all comfy in my bed won't you?"

Roman had sealed their fate; one of them was surely dying tonight and it seemed Cinder planned on being the one to live.

Emerald, without a word, climbed off of her and quickly made her way out with Mercury, the door shutting softly behind them.

"Lock it."

"We don't have to take this too far-"

"I said, lock it."

This was with no doubt the Christmas team CRME would never forget.

"Roman, you never learn do you?" Cinder purred, standing up and narrowing her eyes at the now shaking man. If there was one thing, and only one thing, that Torchwick was afraid of, that would be Cinder. "You should leave me to my own business. If you were unhappy with the way I was treating Emerald, you should have left."

"Left? You wanted me to leave my own damn Christmas party?"

Her wrist flicked up and a small flame danced on her finger tips, the ember flashing back in her deep amber eyes. "I wanted to kiss her, so I did. You can't stop me, you can't control me. I'm the puppet master."

Roman stomped his foot on the ground, much like a child would, and let out a huff. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me loud and clear and you know it." The sound of clanking heels interrupted the silence for a moment as Cinder walked away. "I don't know what you expected me to do, but I hope this catches you by surprise."

With a confused grumble Roman raised his eyebrows. Before he had to the chance to speak, the swaying flame from Cinder's fingers quickly burst upwards in a frenzy. A thick black smoke began to fill the room as the leader threw sparks to curtains and the carpet and practically anything flammable.

"Here bitch, hope you can breathe in smoke!"

"Woah, calm down!" Torchwick blundered out of the way of a fireball sent to his face, barely evading it. The fiery ball of heat however caught his hat ablaze so he had to quickly throw it to the floor. She must have had way too much to drink, as her explosive tendencies were coming out.

"Your hair would look so good lit on fire, Roman!"

"Now she's going bat-shit crazy, holy fuck." He muttered to himself before almost getting his head of orange locks set aflame. "Cinder, please calm down!"

A wild cackle spilled out of the drunk girl's mouth as she shook her head, dark brown locks flipping about. There was no way she would calm down unless he gave in; Roman knew what he had to do to survive.

"I'm so very sorry Cinder, I was way out of line. Next time I shall do your bidding without hesitation like the good servant boy that I am supposed to be."

Upon Roman's statement, uttered through gritted teeth, Cinder's bright flame in her palm instantly was extinguished. The flames beginning to encompass the room fluttered to a dull roar before they vanished, and pillars of black smoke that were causing Roman to cough faded out as if they were just a mirage.

"I'm glad you could see it my way."

Her voice was clear and stable, all traces of slurs now gone. What?

"Are you not-"

"Manipulation Roman, did you forget that I can hold my liquor?"

The two stood across the room from each other, Roman stiff with anger and his mouth slightly ajar. She played him; she read him like a book. With a simple bat of her eyelashes she strode towards the door before muttering under her breath to the man.

"If you need me, I've got a Christmas to fucking finish."

With a slam of the door Roman was left alone, with nearly ten minutes until Christmas was over.

Wait, was she implying something?!

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**If you did enjoy I'd really appreciate you voting for me when the week of voting! Poll will be posted on the subreddit when it starts, thanks :)**

**(I'd really like to win this time friends, band together and vote!)**


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